Who is excited for tonight's State of the Union Address?
To make it easier to watch I have a laugh track all synced up n ready to go.
Carey On...
Showing posts with label political humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label political humor. Show all posts
Thursday, March 07, 2024
Wednesday, September 06, 2023
Friday, August 26, 2022
Zero Inflation
As hard as I work, I should not be in this predicament of what to pay.
Taxes have hit me hard, utilities have soared, and food prices are up.
The only thing that keeps me going is listening to Biden.
He said we have zero inflation.
I feel so much better paying more for everything but knowing there is no inflation.
Carey On...
Thursday, February 03, 2022
Three Boobs or is it Four?
Carey On News Break
Things are really heating up between the US and RussiaToday Biden had stern words for Putin
Joe said “C’mon man, it’s not You kraine it’s Our krain”!
This has been a Carey On News Break
What boob decided this?
Carey On...
Wednesday, August 18, 2021
If the Biden presidency were a movie...
If the Biden presidency were a movie...
Obama Part 2 - Sure, the man’s name is slow Joe, an old, senile, decrepit white man but is it really him?
You will be surprised to find out the shocking truth of who is actually behind the mask running and ruining everything; it isn’t Joe!
Obama Part 2 - Worse than the first, no one and nothing is safe!
Rated R for RUN!
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
Carey On News Break for July 13th, 2021
Carey On News Break
Congress is debating whether they should defund the Secret Service protection for Resident Biden
One reason for the protection of a president is the amount of knowledge and information he has in case he is kidnapped
But Slow Joe can't even remember his wife's name so why waste the money, he doesn't know anything.
This has been a Carey On News Break....
Friday, April 09, 2021
Carey On News Break
Carey On News Break
Slow Joe fielded questions today about the Keystone XL pipeline
Listen man, we are not going to abandon the pipeline we are going to repurpose the workers and the pipeline
We can turn on a garden hose on one end and have people slide through it
This would be the world’s largest water slide
Imagine starting out in Canada and ending up in Montana, or Peoria
It’s all about that three letter word jobs
Tourist dollars, we can do this
Imagine a large water slide, maybe we can even send mail through it, we don’t oil, we need this
This has been a Carey On News Break
Slow Joe fielded questions today about the Keystone XL pipeline
Listen man, we are not going to abandon the pipeline we are going to repurpose the workers and the pipeline
We can turn on a garden hose on one end and have people slide through it
This would be the world’s largest water slide
Imagine starting out in Canada and ending up in Montana, or Peoria
It’s all about that three letter word jobs
Tourist dollars, we can do this
Imagine a large water slide, maybe we can even send mail through it, we don’t oil, we need this
This has been a Carey On News Break
Thursday, October 15, 2020
Inspired by Joe Biden's Car Rallies
I was inspired by Joe Biden's Car Rallies and thought if he did tour the drive in circuit the billboards would read as such:
Now playing at drive
ins across America
Sex crazed and absent minded Joe Biden with Kamala Harris as the transracial senator in
Sex crazed and absent minded Joe Biden with Kamala Harris as the transracial senator in
No
Malarkey – Build Back Better
A true American story!
Comedy – Drama – Horror - Sex, it has it all
No admission – all welcome
FREE - Ken Itbe Sure it was free but popcorn was triple the price which shows nothing is free not even healthcare
MYSTERY - Ima Confused Thought it was about a man running for
president but Biden kept saying he was running for senate
DRAMA - Nada Forme - Filled with lies besides this script was done before with female Hillary Clinton
HORROR – Mr. Chicken Scary, 200 million dead from a
virus, 150 million from guns, is anyone left?
SEX - Era
Osed Rubbing leg hairs sniffing hair had me excited
Coming November 4th Double Feature
Trump part 2 – The Return of American Greatness
and
Biden Takes a Hike
Monday, September 21, 2020
Carey On News Break September 21, 2020
Carey On News Break
Today at a rally attended by 11 Joe Biden quoted Fred Flintstone by saying yabba dabba doo
The only problem is Joe wasn't trying to quote Fred and those in attendance still don't know what he was trying to say.
This has been a Carey On News Break
Saturday, September 05, 2020
Carey On News Break -Biden's New Slogan
Carey On News Break
Presidential candidate Joe Biden has come up with a new campaign slogan
Gone is the No Malarkey which was nothing but malarkey and sounded more like an Irish pub rather than n a slogan
Gone also is Build Back Better which was nothing but Ebonics at its worse
The new slogan is by far the best
And that is Let's Forget Everything and vote Biden
When asked about it Joe Biden said I like it however I forgot what I was suppose to forget
Let's Forget Everything and Vote Biden!!!
This has been a Carey On News Break
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
A short tutorial on tires
A short tutorial on what the letters mean on a tire sidewall
It can be confusing
The first number is the tire size For instance 225-70-15 that is the size
Then the load rating which is a two digit number like 95, the higher the number the more weight the tire can handle
If it has an MS it is for mud and snow
Then there is the date code For instance 2118 would indicate the tire was manufactured in the 21st week of the year, the number “18” is the year
And finally if it has LGBTQ on it Goodyear made the tire
And there you have it
Carey On...
The first number is the tire size For instance 225-70-15 that is the size
Then the load rating which is a two digit number like 95, the higher the number the more weight the tire can handle
If it has an MS it is for mud and snow
Then there is the date code For instance 2118 would indicate the tire was manufactured in the 21st week of the year, the number “18” is the year
And finally if it has LGBTQ on it Goodyear made the tire
And there you have it
Carey On...
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
A Conversation Between Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden
A conversation between Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden
Hello Joe, this is Bernie.
Bennie?
No Bernie.
You mean like Bennie and the Jets?
NO your political rival Bernie Sanders!
Well hello, why didn’t you say Bernie Sanders.
Listen Joe my old bones are not up to another rally.
You mean dog bones, you want to make dog bones an issue?
NO listen Joe, I am in no mood to host a campaign rally.
I hate camping!
WHATEVER! What do you say we just cancel both of our rallies?
OK that’s fine with me Chuck.
Breaking News
Biden and Sanders cancel their upcoming rallies over fear of spreading the corona-virus
Carey On…
Hello Joe, this is Bernie.
Bennie?
No Bernie.
You mean like Bennie and the Jets?
NO your political rival Bernie Sanders!
Well hello, why didn’t you say Bernie Sanders.
Listen Joe my old bones are not up to another rally.
You mean dog bones, you want to make dog bones an issue?
NO listen Joe, I am in no mood to host a campaign rally.
I hate camping!
WHATEVER! What do you say we just cancel both of our rallies?
OK that’s fine with me Chuck.
Breaking News
Biden and Sanders cancel their upcoming rallies over fear of spreading the corona-virus
Carey On…
Wednesday, October 16, 2019
What did I learn from the Democratic debate?
What did I learn from the Democratic debate?
I learned...
Elizabeth I am Indian Hear Me Yelp Warren cannot start a sentence without using the word SO
I didn't see any American flag
Bernie Sandman Sanders waves his right hand not his left when he speaks
They hate Trump
Taxes are just another word for saying I love you we need to spend your money
Even though Sanders and Biden are front runners this isn't the old white-mans party
Yang doesn't like ties
Buttigieg likes guys
Booker is a vegan
Klobuchar has no clue none
Beto is not the same as Betamax but he to will be obsolete soon
Kamala Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon You come but please go
Castro, isn't that the name of the Cuban dictator?
Tom Steyer is a billionaire but some things money just can't buy like speaking time
Gabbard, how is she a Democrat. she is way to good looking
No one on stage has a chance to get 5% of the vote against President Trump
And that's what I learned watching the Democratic debate
Carey On...
I learned...
Elizabeth I am Indian Hear Me Yelp Warren cannot start a sentence without using the word SO
I didn't see any American flag
Bernie Sandman Sanders waves his right hand not his left when he speaks
They hate Trump
Taxes are just another word for saying I love you we need to spend your money
Even though Sanders and Biden are front runners this isn't the old white-mans party
Yang doesn't like ties
Buttigieg likes guys
Booker is a vegan
Klobuchar has no clue none
Beto is not the same as Betamax but he to will be obsolete soon
Kamala Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon You come but please go
Castro, isn't that the name of the Cuban dictator?
Tom Steyer is a billionaire but some things money just can't buy like speaking time
Gabbard, how is she a Democrat. she is way to good looking
No one on stage has a chance to get 5% of the vote against President Trump
And that's what I learned watching the Democratic debate
Carey On...
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
My Rebuttal to the Rebuttal from Representative Joseph P. Kennedy III
I decided to update this post because of the below comment concerning it.
Did anyone watch the rebuttal from Representative Joseph P. Kennedy III about President Trump's speech?
These are my thoughts.
I was confused at first, I thought it was Conan O'Brien.
And when he turned side ways I swore from the corner of his mouth were fangs.
Did anyone else find it ironic that it was in a repair garage?
Symbolic of the whole Democratic party needing a fix.
Did you notice Joe was speaking from a car repair shop in Fall River.
Didn't his Uncle Teddy make a car fall in the river that drowned a lady?
Speaking of Uncle Teddy I thought his spirit possessed Joe when he started mumbling,
I was wrong. It was Joe speaking Spanish or Mexican or Hispanic, heck I don't what it was I am an American and speak English.
The only thing I found lifting was the car lifts in the garage.
As the car behind Joe had its hood open, I had my mouth open thinking another Kennedy, another liberal, say it ain't so Joe please say it ain't so Joe!
Carey On...
Carey you said nothing of significance
or even a critique of his speech. Did you listen, he actually gave a speech.
You're main focus is sarcastic putdowns & a juvenile attempt at comedy. You
couldn't sell a children's book!
My quick reply to this person was:
Depends on what aisle of the book
store you are on, I received plenty of positive feedback. When something so
lame happens you have to laugh. I listened and should I give merit to a silver
spooned Irish Catholic born in a political dynasty mentioning black lives
matter? You and I know more about blacks than this man. And when he spoke Hispanic, come on, we are Americans speak English or move!
Did anyone watch the rebuttal from Representative Joseph P. Kennedy III about President Trump's speech?
These are my thoughts.
I was confused at first, I thought it was Conan O'Brien.
And when he turned side ways I swore from the corner of his mouth were fangs.
Did anyone else find it ironic that it was in a repair garage?
Symbolic of the whole Democratic party needing a fix.
Did you notice Joe was speaking from a car repair shop in Fall River.
Didn't his Uncle Teddy make a car fall in the river that drowned a lady?
Speaking of Uncle Teddy I thought his spirit possessed Joe when he started mumbling,
I was wrong. It was Joe speaking Spanish or Mexican or Hispanic, heck I don't what it was I am an American and speak English.
The only thing I found lifting was the car lifts in the garage.
As the car behind Joe had its hood open, I had my mouth open thinking another Kennedy, another liberal, say it ain't so Joe please say it ain't so Joe!
Carey On...
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Another Carey Parody - Deport em' sung to the tune Rawhide
Illegal 'llegal 'llegal
Illegal 'llegal 'llegal
Keep movin', movin', movin'
Though Dems are disapprovin'
Keep them illegals movin'
Deport em!
Don't try to understand 'em
Just rope and throw and deport 'em
Soon we'll be living high and wide.
My country's calculatin'
For years we have been waitin'
Hey illegals it’s the end of the ride.
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Head 'em up, move 'em on
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Deport em!
Cut 'em off, ride 'em out
Ride 'em out, let 'em out
Cut 'em off, ride 'em out
Deport em!
Deport em!
Carey On....
Illegal 'llegal 'llegal
Keep movin', movin', movin'
Though Dems are disapprovin'
Keep them illegals movin'
Deport em!
Don't try to understand 'em
Just rope and throw and deport 'em
Soon we'll be living high and wide.
My country's calculatin'
For years we have been waitin'
Hey illegals it’s the end of the ride.
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Head 'em up, move 'em on
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Deport em!
Cut 'em off, ride 'em out
Ride 'em out, let 'em out
Cut 'em off, ride 'em out
Deport em!
Deport em!
Carey On....
Thursday, December 07, 2017
Today’s celebrities and politicians sing yesterday’s hits
The song collection you’ve been waiting for!
Matt Lauer sings “Touch me in the morning”
Rep. Joe Barton does “Let it all hang out”
Sen. Al Franken wows you with “Loving, Touching, Squeezing'
Charlie Rose streaks through “The Streak”
They’re all here! Garrison Keillor - Rep. John Conyers – Andy Dick – Harvey Weinstein and more!
Steven Seagal “See Me Feel Me”
Kevin Spacey lets loose with “I Know What Boys Like”
I just love this toe tapping album it takes me back to when I was Commander and Chief of the Oral Office.
Bill Clinton
Included in this collection are the bonus songs by Hillary Clinton "Breaking Down" and President Trump croons “Swamp Music”
Carey On...
Matt Lauer sings “Touch me in the morning”
Rep. Joe Barton does “Let it all hang out”
Sen. Al Franken wows you with “Loving, Touching, Squeezing'
Charlie Rose streaks through “The Streak”
They’re all here! Garrison Keillor - Rep. John Conyers – Andy Dick – Harvey Weinstein and more!
Steven Seagal “See Me Feel Me”
Kevin Spacey lets loose with “I Know What Boys Like”
I just love this toe tapping album it takes me back to when I was Commander and Chief of the Oral Office.
Bill Clinton
Included in this collection are the bonus songs by Hillary Clinton "Breaking Down" and President Trump croons “Swamp Music”
Carey On...
Saturday, October 14, 2017
Another bill bites the dust to the tune of Another One Bites the Dust - Another Carey Parody
With Trump's recent action of trying to unravel Obama-care and decertifying' Irans nuclear deal I thought it was time for another Carey Parody.
Another Bill Bites the Dust to the tune of Another One Bites the Dust
Trump walks boldly down the street
With illegals laying low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Repeals are ready to go
Are Dems ready, are Libs ready for fits
The liberals on the edge of their seat
Out of the nighttime the tweets do rip
Replying to media creeps
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another bill bites the dust
Hey, Trump’s gonna cut that too
Another bill bites the dust
How do you think they’re going to get along
Without their perks they’re gone
Obama took me for everything that I had
And taxed me out of my home
Are libs worried, are they horrified
How long can they stand Trump’s heat
Out of the nighttime the tweets do rip
Replying to media creeps
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a Dem
‘N make em literally mad
Dump Obamacare and sending illegals home
Is Trumps ready, yes Trumps ready for them
He’s standing on his own two feet
Out of the nighttime the tweets do rip
Replying to media creeps
Another bill bites the dust
CKM
Another Bill Bites the Dust to the tune of Another One Bites the Dust
Trump walks boldly down the street
With illegals laying low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Repeals are ready to go
Are Dems ready, are Libs ready for fits
The liberals on the edge of their seat
Out of the nighttime the tweets do rip
Replying to media creeps
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another bill bites the dust
Hey, Trump’s gonna cut that too
Another bill bites the dust
How do you think they’re going to get along
Without their perks they’re gone
Obama took me for everything that I had
And taxed me out of my home
Are libs worried, are they horrified
How long can they stand Trump’s heat
Out of the nighttime the tweets do rip
Replying to media creeps
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
Another bill bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a Dem
‘N make em literally mad
Dump Obamacare and sending illegals home
Is Trumps ready, yes Trumps ready for them
He’s standing on his own two feet
Out of the nighttime the tweets do rip
Replying to media creeps
Another bill bites the dust
CKM
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Top 10 Things to Look for Post-election
10. Trump is given a list of all known illegal alien felons and finds Obama’s name on the list
9. A catfight between Michelle Obama and Chelsea over who will run for president in 2020
8. Mike Pence having to explain to Donald Trump why he can’t nuke North Korea, Syria and Mexico
7. Now that the Clintons are no longer in office or running for office Bill finally pays for sex
6. Obama decides to retire to Kenya instead of Chicago
5. Hillary decides to Cryogenically Freeze herself she so can thaw out and run for president in 2060
4. Obama’s presidential library is planned to be built in a mosque
3. All of the protesters suddenly stop protesting when they realize being paid to protest is like having a job
2. Joe Biden being asked what will Obama’s legacy be with Joe asking in return “What is a legacy?”
And the Number One thing to look for post-election is:
President Elect Trump requesting the national anthem being changed to New York New York
Carey On.....
9. A catfight between Michelle Obama and Chelsea over who will run for president in 2020
8. Mike Pence having to explain to Donald Trump why he can’t nuke North Korea, Syria and Mexico
7. Now that the Clintons are no longer in office or running for office Bill finally pays for sex
6. Obama decides to retire to Kenya instead of Chicago
5. Hillary decides to Cryogenically Freeze herself she so can thaw out and run for president in 2060
4. Obama’s presidential library is planned to be built in a mosque
3. All of the protesters suddenly stop protesting when they realize being paid to protest is like having a job
2. Joe Biden being asked what will Obama’s legacy be with Joe asking in return “What is a legacy?”
And the Number One thing to look for post-election is:
President Elect Trump requesting the national anthem being changed to New York New York
Carey On.....
Tuesday, November 01, 2016
Carey brings you - Top 10 things to look for during the last days of the 2016 election
It has been some time since I have written a Top 10 list so here is the
Top 10 things to look for during the last days of the 2016 election
10. A conversation between someone and Hillary asking did you receive my email and Hillary responding sorry I must have deleted it.
9. Illegal Mexicans applying early for the work of building Trumps wall.
8. Gary Johnson getting caught smoking weed with Willy Nelson
7. A large crowd of 36 people mostly family members showing up for a Tim Kaine speech
6. EGore (Al Gore) giving a lecture on global warming and forgetting he was there to talk about Hillary for president.
5. Bill Clinton yelling at Hillary NO you cannot have Monica as an intern, she is mine
4. Transsexuals voting for Hillary twice, once as a man and once as a woman
3. John Kasich giving a press conference thinking he is the next president
2. Hillary having make up applied then sprayed liberally with Raid so she can have a fly free rally
And the number 1. thing to look for is…
Donald Trump saying Read my lips no new Muslims
Carey Masci
Top 10 things to look for during the last days of the 2016 election
10. A conversation between someone and Hillary asking did you receive my email and Hillary responding sorry I must have deleted it.
9. Illegal Mexicans applying early for the work of building Trumps wall.
8. Gary Johnson getting caught smoking weed with Willy Nelson
7. A large crowd of 36 people mostly family members showing up for a Tim Kaine speech
6. EGore (Al Gore) giving a lecture on global warming and forgetting he was there to talk about Hillary for president.
5. Bill Clinton yelling at Hillary NO you cannot have Monica as an intern, she is mine
4. Transsexuals voting for Hillary twice, once as a man and once as a woman
3. John Kasich giving a press conference thinking he is the next president
2. Hillary having make up applied then sprayed liberally with Raid so she can have a fly free rally
And the number 1. thing to look for is…
Donald Trump saying Read my lips no new Muslims
Carey Masci
Friday, October 14, 2016
Carey brings you this news brief: Trump angers athletes
Trump has angered athletes with his remarks that his foul conversation about women was just locker room talk and nothing else.
Making a joint statement was Kobe Bryant, Derrick Rose, Ben Roethlisberger, Johnny Manziel, Ray Rice and OJ saying We are appalled at what Trump said, we have far greater respect for woman than that.
This has been a Carey On News Brief.
Making a joint statement was Kobe Bryant, Derrick Rose, Ben Roethlisberger, Johnny Manziel, Ray Rice and OJ saying We are appalled at what Trump said, we have far greater respect for woman than that.
This has been a Carey On News Brief.
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