Biden's Autopen

 Gee, I forgot to post this when I made it weeks ago.

I'm an American Communist

I haven't written one of this in some time.

Another Carey Parody

With Tim Off the Walz involvement with Red China

I bring to you:

"American Communist" sung to the Ramones song "Teenage Lobotomy"

Communist, Communist, Communist, Communist!

CCP did a job on me

Now I am a real commie

Guess I'll have to break the news

That I got no mind to lose

All the Reds are in love with me

I'm an American Communist

Trump and Feds are after me

CCP keeps me happy

Now I guess I'll have to tell 'em

That I got no cerebellum

I'm just a Chinese patsy

I'm an American Communist

Carey On...

This That and All Things Biden from the past week

 Carey On Breaking News....

Reporters asked Joe when the decision was made for him to step down.

Joe replied back, well I knew something was up when Jill didn't dress me this morning.

This has been a Carey On Breaking News...

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Just to set the record straight Kama-ha-ha Harris is as much a African American as I am a Scandinavian American.

She ain't black - STOP the madness.

Carey On...

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Could you imagine being at the breakfast table with the Bidens?

Slow Joe - Its not my fault I had to drop out and you aren't the president anymore. Don't blame me and be mad.

Jill - Oh yeah! Well who hired the assassin?

Never thought I would see the day a hired hit was part of a campaign strategy to win the presidency.

Carey On...

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I will surely miss Uncle Groper, Slow Joe.

He is an endless supply of jokes.

Joe and Jill went to Capitol Hill

To fetch a billion dollars

Joe fell down like a drunken clown

And Jill completely unraveled

Carey On...

Bird Flu

 

Who is more undeserving

 Jimmy Haslam owner of the Cleveland Browns is petitioning for a new Stadium.

Today's question is:

Who is more undeserving

Joe Biden in the White House

or the Browns in a new billion dollar stadium?

Carey On...

The new version of If a tree falls in

 The new version of

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Is

If Trump is not at a debate and no one is around to hear it, do they still make a sound?"

Carey On...

Top 10 Reasons Why Mitch McConnell Froze

 

Things to look for in tonight's 2023 Republican debate.

 Things to look for in tonight's 2023 Republican debate.

Look for...

Chris Christie to interrupt and say I am the Republican Party. In fact, I look like the GOP elephant; by the way, when do we break for food?

Tim Scott to be ignored because he makes sense and is the adult in the room.

Ron DeSantis to try to Trump Trump and say I was Donald Trump before Donald Trump. In my previous life, I was Donald Trump. I will out Trump Trump.

Vivek Ramaswamy to spend 20 minutes each on how to pronounce his name, that he is a presidential Swamy and quantum physics. 

Nikkia Haley to streak across the stage like a comet and burn out. 

Doug Burgum to say I am not the janitor. Can I please say something?

Asa Hutchinson to defend himself by saying just because I served two roles in the George W. Bush administration doesn't mean you can't trust me.

Mike Pence denying he knew Donald Trump three times before the announcer crows. 

President Donald Trump calling in and saying if I didn't call, you would have 3 people watching. By the way, you guys are terrible, but what do you expect from fake moderators

Carey On...

Daylight Saving Time Bill

 Carey On… News Break

Senate unanimously approved a measure on March 15 to make daylight saving time permanent across the United States next year. The bipartisan bill, named the Sunshine Protection Act is supported by Slow Joe Biden.

Joe remarked I am all in favor of this; one more hour a day will give me more time to study the Teleprompters.

This has been a Carey On… News Break

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The New Superman

 Carey On News...

In case you missed it -

DC Comics announced the new Superman will be bisexual.

Other changes are Superman will no longer come out of a telephone booth but a closet

And also out is kryptonite, Superman now swoons and loses power whenever he sees a photo of Russian President Putin.

This has been a Carey On News Break...

Dollar Ninety Five Tree

 I love when people get annoyed with my humor and don't see the truth in it.

Sept 27, 2018
Carey's Almost Real News
Trump's tariffs on Chinese made goods is having an effect already.
Dollar Tree announced today that they will be changing their name from Dollar Tree to $1.95 Tree.
This has been a Carey News Brief.

Maybe not the tariffs but still my humor wasn't too far off was it?

https://nypost.com/2021/09/29/dollar-tree-raises-prices-to-over-a-buck-on-many-items/