Carey's Headlines and More

Women allowed in to Augusta – Tiger told to keep his eye on the ball

Romney said no ones asked to see my birth certificate but they have asked to see Mitt's fathers

Lance Armstrong banned for life – Neil Armstrong lost his life

Lance Armstrong stripped for doping – girls strip for dope

Bush blamed for Katrina – Obama blamed for Isaac

Isaac invites himself to the convention – Paul still not allowed

Mitt flips while Obama flops

Isaac dampens Mitts coronation

Samsung copied Apple to the Core

Hey I got my hands on Romney's speech for the RNC. Here's the opening lines:


Hi Florida... I like Florida... Florida has hurricanes... I like hurricanes.
What did the leader of the Sikh Temple say when he saw the gunman?
HIDE AND GO SIKH!

Signs of the times. Could Punk Rock start the revolution? The shooter of the Sikh Temple massacre played in the far-right punk band "End Apathy". In Russia Pussy Riot rocked Putin and were jailed.
God save the queen we mean it, man. There is no future. No future.


I am the Tea Party – All others stand at the harbor and watch.
Carey Masci

More Carey Humor

One good thing about this drought we've been in. I saved a lot of money on gas not needing my lawn mower all summer.


What does the weather and the Cleveland Indians have in common? They are both in a drought.

Did you hear that the Olympic committee awarded the Cleveland Indians a honorary gold medal? Yep - for taking the best dive.

What is the main difference between the Cleveland Browns and the Indians? The Browns rebuild at the end of each season and the Indians rebuild every two months during the season.

Last years starting quarterback Colt McCoy of the Browns is now second string. When asked if he was disappointed Colt said Heck no, the Browns just added 20 years to my life.
One more on the Olympics. Brazil should come up with a new abbreviation for their country. Seeing the Brazilian male athlete with BRA on their uniforms is not to manly.

I am not sure whats worse Mitt Romney's commercials complaining how many people are on welfare while Obama's been in office or Obama's commercials talking about how many factories were shut down that put people on welfare while Mitt was with Bain.

I think we should start a huge petition drive and demand from both Obama and Mitt that they get rid of the mud slugging and instead have a mud wrestling match
David Copperfield no longer has the title of best magician. That honor now goes to Obama. I agree, anyone who can make 14 trillion dollars disappear has my vote.

I feel as if I should be dressing up now when I go eat fast food. With the way inflation is it seems that I am eating at an expensive restaurant.

That's it for this round, going to watch the women's volley ball. The Italian women are playing, I am anxious to see if they shaved their legs.

Carey Masci

Recent News & Sports, Dimora - olympics and more

Recent News
Over 6 billion, yes 6 billion dollars will be spent on political ads this year. And yet it still won't be enough to convince voters Obama is an American and Mitt Romney is a Republican.

The same scenario keeps playing out. Oil prices go up, stocks come tumbling down. Oil prices fall, stocks shoot up. Its kind of like with Obama. Obama plays golf, the economy improves. Obama goes back to work, the economy slows down.

Wow was I saddened by the Cuyahoga County appraisal of my house in Euclid. It plummeted from last year losing half its value. Property taxes though are expected to go up again. If this keep up my taxes will be more than what my house is worth.
Cuyahoga County commissioner Jimmy Dimora is asking friends to donate to a defense fund so that he can appeal the charges. I bet you Dimora wished he would have saved some of that kickback money he spent on prostitutes.

Cuyahoga County commissioner Jimmy Dimora is asking friends to donate to his defense fund. No big news here, aren't all Domcratic fund raising events for some sort of criminal defense?

Charlie Brown and Linus thought they spotted the Great Pumpkin but it was only Dimora in his orange prison jumpsuit.

Cuyahoga County commissioner Jimmy Dimora's guilty conscience is finally starting to get to him. Dimora started yelling in court I HAD NOTHING TO WITH THE OLYMPIC BADMITON PLAYERS THROWING GAMES – I'M INNOCENT, HEAR ME INNOCENT!

Sports talk
I have been watching the Olympics this year more so than in the past. I got interested in women's volley ball. They were giving the statistics for kills and digs. OK I know what a kill is but what is a dig? Is that how many times they have to dig their skimpy bottoms out?

Immediately after the closing ceremony the Chinese players will take express jets back to China. Walmart needs them back at the sweat shops making goods for their store.

Even though times are bad in America it feels so good to see the US athlete compete in the Olympics and just about lead in the record count against China with a population three or 4 times that of the US. Yes it made me feel proud to see the American athlete in all their glory receiving medal after medal in their Chinese made jerseys, sporting made in Japan sunglasses, using equipment made in Mexico. Yes I am proud to be an American.

I was excited to hear the Cleveland Browns were sold. I was depressed when I heard they won't be leaving Cleveland.

The Cleveland Indians were so ecstatic that they celebrated beating the Detroit Tigers and winning the Justin Verlander World Series in July and forgot the season still has over 2 months to go. The Cleveland manager said Hey we beat Verlander, what more do you want, more wins?

                       If my humor is too dry for you, just blame it on the drought.
                                                Carey Masci