I am just so disturbed by the corruption, the big government mentality of Cuyahoga county, the taxes, inept leadership that if I don't joke about it I would go nuts, hmm maybe its to late for that. Read these fine gems made up by good ole me.
Cleveland has been getting a lot of bad press as of late which is unfair because it did rank number one in something, as America's largest poor city. Crime is up, taxes are up, foreclosures are up, and you may say what's up? To that I say all is not bleak. I give you my top 10 reasons why living in the Cleveland area still has some good points to it. Here they are.....
10. With everyone moving out parking spaces are easier to find
9. A shorter rush hour, it went from 20 minutes to 10 minutes long
8. You can cross the street anytime of day and not get hit by a car
7. If you are homeless and sleep on the sidewalk no pedestrians to walk over you
6. It makes Euclid more attractive
5. You can buy three houses for the price of one
4 You can experience a ghost town without having to drive out west
3 More benefits for everyone, all nationalities are now minorities as rats out number people.
2 If you're lazy and don't like to work you have an excuse, there is no jobs
And the number one reason why Cleveland isn't the worse place to live is...
Because it still isn't Buffalo
Here's some history brought to you by me.
Did you know General Moses Cleaveland arrived in the Cleveland area on July 22, 1796. He left in October of the same year. He died in 1806 never returning to the land named after him. I think that was a sign of things to come as many people come to Cleveland, leave and never return.
Cleveland does have a lot to see, you just have to get here before everything closes at 2 pm.
With all the scandals and FBI removing boxes of files in Cleveland its very nostalgic, it almost feels like its Washington DC during the Clinton era of the 90's.
Cleveland is trying hard to get the medical mart. Why, just go to any street corner and get any drug you want.
Cleveland may get the Gay Games. Great, aren't our sports teems sissy enough?
But really, thats all Cleveland needs, first a flaming river and now flaming queers, this should really improve our image.
Some of the Gays are excited to come here, they heard the Browns have good tight ends.
Here's some motto's the area should adopt.
Cleveland, the place where dreams die.
High taxes - regulations - inside inspections - Euclid a role model for big government
You like big government, you'll love our city. Euclid
Interfering with business since 1988, we just want our cut. Euclid
Someone who is prominent in Lake County told me this one. And its so true.
"Euclid is like hell, you can't live there but its impossible to leave"
Hey don't pile on and make fun of Cleveland, if you don't live in this area you don't really know what a joke it is.
Gotta Go Go!!