Friday, October 02, 2015

Carey's humor from the last 5 months or so

Friends,
More humor to alienate the rest of you who don't know how to laugh. This is an accumulation of humor that I came up with in the last five months or so.

Rumor has it Miley Cyrus is contemplating becoming a man. Bruce Jenner immediately stepped up and said he would be more than happy to be the organ donor.

Recent research has shown that the latest mass shooters share something in common and its not a gun. They have the same hair style - bowl cuts. So that explains why Mo Howard had anger issues and slapped Larry n Curly. He never had a gun but he did have a bowl haircut.

LeBron James the best player on the planet says he needs help. Why the best player on the planet needs help is beyond me.

All this homosexual talk with everyone displaying rainbows is disturbing. Its no longer no child left behind but no child's behind left.

Native American Indians were on a rampage towards Progressive Field to protest Cleveland's usage of the name Indians for their baseball team. When they made it to the stadium Cleveland was in a midst of a rally. The loudspeakers blared out the Cavalry tune with a loud CHARGE. Native American Indians quickly headed for the hills and haven't been seen since.

A spokesman for the Native American Indians said they really aren't against Cleveland using the name Indians. Its just that its upsetting watching Cleveland baseball because its like watching the old Westerns, the Indians always lose, we just like to win once in awhile.

Pied Piper Obama has stirred up so much racism I am surprised blacks haven't stormed Pillsbury yet to beat the Pillsbury Doughboy because he's a rich fat white kid.

The Pope was upset with Obama for having a pro-abortion religious sister and a transgender woman greet him. Makes sense to me. We have one man who thinks he is black, a Catholic who is in favor of killing the unborn, someone who thinks she is another gender, meeting someone from this world who thinks he is God.

The Browns breathed a sigh of relief when they found out Manziel had a sore elbow from throwing a football and not from hoisting to many beers.

Browns 1 win vs 2 starting quarterbacks. The safe bet again this year is on more quarterbacks than wins.

The Pope is worried about climate change. Someone needs to remind the Pope that the great flood in Noah's time was due to mans disobedience and sin not from melting glaciers.

Jeb Bush came out with a statement on his plummeting poll numbers. Jeb said its Bush's fault people don't want to support me.

America has 60% of the porn business and spends billions on it. Americans are screwed.

And that gets you caught up.

Carey

2 comments:

David Macko said...

Always keep in mind that God did not give everyone a sense of humor. I am glad that He did not neglect you or me in that regard. Keep it up.

Donna Calvin said...

These were funny enough to read to my DH out loud. He's laying on the couch taking his old-guy nappy.