Friday, April 03, 2015

Carey's review of news from the past few weeks... or so.

Carey's review of news from the past few weeks... or so.

First sports talk:
Johnny Manziel is still in rehab, for drinking and learning how to play quarterback. Johnny insists he is not an alcoholic and added Hey if you were drafted by Cleveland you would quickly adopt drinking as your hobby also.

Cleveland Browns GM Ray Farmer has been suspended for texting. Coach Pettine was angry and said What was Farmer thinking? We were busy trying to find ways to lose and he is texting us.

Cleveland is so desperate for a quarterback they ran a Craiglist ad that read: Can you wear a football helmet? You could be the next Browns quarterback. No experience necessary.

Browns owner Hazlem has been toying with the idea of trying to swap the Browns for the Tennessee Titans. Unfortunately the Browns would still be in Cleveland just the owners would change. Too bad as the Browns are definitely more suited for the Country Music Capital rather than the Capital of Rock & Roll.
I could hear the songs now coming out of that deal.
The Browns left Cleveland now we got their misery.
Winning isn't everything especially when you never won.
I promise to marry you when the Browns win the Super Bowl.
I'd trade my hound dog n truck just for one quarterback.
I been losing my whole life now I got a football team to go with it.

The pressure is on Lebron James to make good on winning a championship. Rumor has it if he doesn't win he will be taking his talent to Myrtle Beach.

On to news....
Suddenly it doesn't matter where a person is born to become president. Obama was born in Kenya and presidential hopeful Ted Cruz was born in Canada. Thank goodness for states legalizing marijuana at least that is homegrown.

Those who knew Andreas Lubitz, the German co-pilot who flew flight 4u9525 into an Alpine ravine said he may have suffered from “burnout”. I don't think he had burnout - I think he just crashed.

Slick Willy made this boast I told you I was and still is the first and only black president. What true black president would sit around while EPA tries to regulate BBQ's? It wouldn't happen under my watch.

More on Slick Willy. North Korea is recruiting young women to be part of a revived so-called "pleasure squad" that entertains dictator Kim Jong Un. Bill Clinton said he is jealous, When I was president all I had was Monica and well um Hillary.

There has been backlash in Indiana over the religious freedom law. Homo's and lesbo's and other confused individuals say they won't shop or vacation there. Seems like the law is already very effective.

Japanese can sleep soundly as the government's top military official revealed that the country's Air Self Defense Force has never encountered an extraterrestrial unidentified flying object. Though Japans government does believe in and are constantly on the lookout for Godzilla.

Seattle restaurants had to raise prices considerably after minimum wage was raised to $15. Happy Meals will now have a joint included in them. The thinking is it will make people forget how much they paid for the overpriced bad food and give customers the munchies to buy more.

And that's a wrap.
Carey Masci


Anonymous said...

Now that's funny; I don't care who you are. GJ

Anonymous said...

Did you have trouble writing this? I mean, with your tongue stuck so far into your cheek it must have hurt at least a little!? ;)
Gale P.