Saturday, January 24, 2009

Cleveland Funnies, from mid December, 08

Hey Gang,
Last Week:
Driving home from work I was not in the mood to listen to any more depressing news of the economy or about Obama our savior. Nor was I into listening to Cleveland's corporate music stations which play the same songs over and over and over. And I can't play my cd player either as almost all my music is still on cassette. So I decided to listen to ESPN radio, maybe some cheery news on the Cavs. Nope! Sports Announcer... What do you think the biggest shocker of the year in the NFL has been? To me it has to be the way the Browns performed.....blah blah and BLAH!

Sunday Night:
Cavs win big in Miami so thought I would catch the highlights of their victory. Turn on the boob tube (hmm now that they are changing into flat screens what do we call it?) and nope - nothing about the Cavs. The top of the hour was about the Clowns, no offense to clowns. Announcer.... This has to be the worse team in the NFL.... more blah blahs. The Lions just went 0-16 but the Browns are labeled as the worse team!

I was telling a friend awhile back when they just mentioned that Brady Quinn would start, I said how many times have we seen Cleveland rush a younger player to try and save a season only for them to ruin or shorten that players career? Well you know what happened. 4 days after I said that Brady started and broke his hand. The Browns not wanting to look bad had him start the following game only for him to be yanked as the injury got worse. My crystal ball works again.
With all this fun going on in Cleveland I came up with some more serious humor for you!

The NFL is thinking about going to 17 games. I say to those living in the Cleveland area PLEASE contact everyone in the NFL and say NO!! 16 games of misery is enough for Cleveland.

Did you know that Cleveland has one of the seven wonders? Absolutely. Every Sunday people in Cleveland wonder how could this be a football team.

The problem is the Cleveland Browns has an identity crisis. The teams name is Browns but they wear orange helmets. Maybe they should change to all white and call themselves the Eggs since they always get beaten. Or the Cleveland Anchors, since we are always sinking to the bottom or the Cleveland Candles, since we always get blown out.

Things are so bad with the Browns that they are requesting instead of a by week next year they would like a by year. I suggest - make it two.

Back to the Cavs. Isn't it just like Cleveland that no matter how good something is, we are never alone or some city one ups us. For instance the Cavs are on a phenomenal pace, one destined for the record books if it keeps up. And yet, there is 3 other teams just about as good. Go figure.

Miscellaneous Cleveland Funnies

Vince and three other family members came from Pa. to visit Cleveland the other day. The mayor was very excited. Their visit doubled the amount of tourists from the previous year for Cleveland.

The good and the bad. The good, organized crime is way down in Cleveland. The bad, Cleveland being run by a bunch of bumbling crooked Democrats has made unorganized crime go way up.

Cleveland is trying hard to come up with ways to attract people. One for sure way is for all the inept Democratic leaders to leave.

Cleveland is proud it distanced itself from the days long ago when the river caught fire. The homeless though wish it would again so they could keep warm.

Cleveland has a problem with school funding. My solution is return to the one room school house. Enrollment keeps dropping and no one graduating thinks above a fifth grade level anyways.

Gotta GoGo!!

Just remember humor can be used many ways, I hope this sheds light on serious issues that not only Cleveland is facing but other cities across the nation as well.

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